We All Want Love
by AddieGreysPPPEvilRegal9119
Summary: Dr. Mark Sloan wasn't' always the manwhore that the doctors and nurses of Mount Sinai Hospital had come to know so well. Dr. Addison Forbes Montgomery-Shepherd went from being happily married to suddenly divorced. What happens when these two bitter broken people cross paths at work? Will it be just a fling, or will their hearts find love again? Very AU; no Maddison affair.
1. Pretend I'm Not Lonely

Boston, Massachusetts

He's happy, happier than he's ever been in his life; Mark Everett Sloan is possibly the happiest man ever at this moment. His wife, Lauren, has just told him that she's pregnant with their first child. A baby, Mark couldn't be more thrilled; they've been married nearly 4 years, but with him being a surgeon, they decided to hold off on having kids. Now that he was an attending, they were more than ready for babies. Meeting at Columbia, Mark and Lauren instantly clicked...okay so she hated him at first because she thought that he was just a stupid frat boy but, in time she came to love him. Lauren Katherine Sloan(formerly Ross), the daughter of a New York Circuit Judge. It was expected of Lauren to go to college (Princeton of course) and then Law School(Either Harvard or Princeton). When Lauren decided to go to Columbia for law school, her father John was less than thrilled. However, he quickly learned that his little Laurie-Bee could flourish anywhere and was soon highly accepting of her decision. Unfortunately, he wasn't so keen on the man she wanted to marry; but marry Mark was her decision so, there wasn't much John could do about it. In the end, Mark proved to be a wonderful husband and son-in-law.

Tonight, Mark and Lauren were supposed to be meeting John and Cheryl at their favorite restaurant in Downtown Manhattan where they were going to tell them their good news.

"I'm so happy Mark, aren't you?" Lauren asks lovingly, looking over at her husband from the passenger's seat

"I am Laur, I'm so happy" Mark says with a smile

"You know I love you right?"

"I love you too Laur, and the little peanut"

"Hey, it's not a peanut; it's...wait, exactly how big is our baby now?"

"How should I know?"

"Mark, you went to medical school; you did a rotation in Obstetrics"

"Doesn't mean I learned anything" Mark says

"You, are impossible" Lauren says with an eye roll

"Hey, but you love me though"

"Yes I do"

"And, you're having my baby"

"That I am" Lauren says with a smirk just as the light turns green.

Unfortunately, their moment of happiness is suddenly shattered when out of nowhere, a large 18 wheeler plows into their Mercedes.

* * *

When he wakes up, his head is spinning and he can't remember where he is. It's all so fuzzy to him as he tries to gather his thoughts. His mouth feels like it's been stuffed with cotton and there's this painful ringing in his ears that doesn't seem to stop. He tries to move but, he's hit with a searing pain from his ribcage, causing him to grunt. Hearing the noise, Margret Sloan looks up from the newspaper she's been reading.

"Andrew, Andrew wake up, he's awake!" she whispers to her husband, who begins to stir

"Mark? Mark, sweetie, can you hear me? It's mom; Mark?" she says to her son.

His eyes are opened slightly, mostly because of the blinding light coming from, God knows where. He's pretty certain he isn't dead, because he wouldn't be hearing his mother's voice if he were dead; so automatically, he knows that he is alive. Where he is, is a question within itself.

"Where am I?" he manages, though it sounds more like a raspy groan

"You're in the hospital sweetie; you've been here for about 2 weeks" Margret explains to her son.

Hospital? Why would he be in the hospital? He wonders, still trying to shake himself from the huge fog that seems to be clouding his mind. Opening his eyes fully and he slowly begins to take in his surroundings. Looking out the nearby window, he can tell that he's still in Boston and once he survey's the room, he realizes that he's in a hospital; more specifically, his hospital.

"Mom, what happened?" he asks, watching his mother's face soften

"Oh, Markie"

Markie, a nickname she used when he was a little boy, but only now occasionally out of affection, and when something tragic has happened

"Mark-" his father starts

"Where's Lauren?" he asks, suddenly noticing that his wife is nowhere to be found

"Mark, what's the last thing you remember?" Margret asks

"...We were headed to dinner with her parents, why?"

"Son, that was almost 3 weeks ago" Andrew says quietly

"Well, where's Lauren?"

"Mark...Laurie, she, she didn't make it; she, she died from the impact of the crash son. I'm so sorry"

His heart feels like someone has grabbed it, and are constantly squeezing it. It's constricting, painful even; Lauren is dead. Lauren Katherine Sloan, the most perfect woman in the world is dead, gone, and never coming back again. Suddenly, he realizes that, when she died, she took the most precious thing in the world with her: their baby. He went from having a family, to being alone seemingly within less than 5 minutes.

_XX_

"Mark, are you sure you don't want to-"

"I can't stay here mom; everything reminds me of her and, I don't wanna be reminded of her" Mark says as his mother helps him clean out their, now his apartment. It's only been a week since he was released from the hospital and two days since Lauren's funeral; her parents were respectful enough to wait until Mark came around before burying her. They felt that it wouldn't be right not to let him say goodbye to his wife.

"Mark, it's only been-"

"She's been dead a month mom, I can't stay here"

"Yes but she's only been in the ground 48 hours. Mark, you're grieving, I get that but, you shouldn't make such hasty decisions"

"It's not hasty; the Chief at Mount Sinai has been bugging me about coming to be their head of plastic surgery for months now and, I finally have a reason to tell him yes" Mark says, holding in his hands a photo of he and Lauren from their wedding day.

"Mark, are you sure-"

"I need to do this mom, for me; besides, she wouldn't want me sitting around moping forever" Mark says with a slight smile

"She would also want you to take the proper time and grieve her loss. You know, the insurance company called and the lawyer said-"

"I don't wanna think about the settlement; no amount of money could bring Lauren or the baby-"

"Baby? Mark, she was-"

"About 8, maybe 10 weeks along"

"Oh, honey I am so-"

"It's fine mom; things happen" Mark says with a shrug

"Did her parents-"

"We were going to tell them first, then you guys; she said she couldn't wait to see the look on John's face when she told him he was gonna be a grandpa" Mark says with a smile which quickly fades at the thought of his now dead unborn child.

"Oh, sweetie, I'm so-"

"It's fine ma; I need change. Manhattan will be good for me. I need to get away from all of this"

"Sweetie, what you need is-"

"If I stay, I'll never wanna get out of bed again and, she wouldn't want that" Mark says, his eyes getting glassy at the thought of not being able to function properly without his wife around.

"Alright, alright just, promise me that you'll keep in touch with me?"

"I will"

"And with John and Heather?"

"It'll take some time but, I promise I will"

"I just want you to be happy son" Margret says wrapping her arms around her son

"I will be mom, just not right now"

* * *

**A/N:**

**okay so, I'm back with another Maddison story, but this is highly different than the other Maddison stories I've written. I've changed a LOT of things about this story, such as Derek, Mark and Addison do NOT know one another. Well, Derek and Addison are married but, neither one of them know Mark. All 3 went to medical school together but, never really saw one another. Mark did his internship and residency at Mass Gen instead of Mount Sinai. Derek and Addison do divorce, but it's obviously not because of the Maddison affair. I'm dedicating this story to my pal Bittersweetsymphony; we have our ups and downs but, I couldn't ask for a greater friend than her. I love you Carl, thank you for always being there for me. Any who, I hope you guys enjoy this fanfic. Happy reading and don't forget to leave me a review!**

**Xx**


	2. Pretend It Don't MatterLying to Myself

**Thank you all so much for the reviews, you're too kind. This fic will possibly be short, maybe 5 chapters but, I may right more. At this point, I only have a few chapters planned. Initially, I planned on titling this story "Someone like you" but, I had to change it since I already have a one shot with that title that's based on Adele's song. So instead, I choose Rihanna's song "We All Want Love". I love Rihanna, and that song so, most of the chapter titles will be based on a verse from that song and the lyrics will be posted**

**For the most part, the story will rotate between Addison's POV and Mark's POV. I cannot say right now if Seattle or LA will come into play, it could; but then I like the idea of them being in New York. As far as Derek goes, his role in this story will be very, limited, possibly just for this chapter, and maybe chapter 3. He still ends up in Seattle with Meredith Grey but, the way he ends up there is a bit different than on the show. So if you're a MerDer, I'll leave their fate up to you. I don't wanna spoil anything more so, here's the next chapter. Don't forget to hit the little review button once you're done! Happy Reading**

**Xx**

* * *

"_I can pretend that it don't matter but I'll be sitting here lying to myself"-Rihanna_

She was happy, they were happy..._or so she thought_. They had been married for 11 years when she was suddenly staring at divorce papers from her husband. The mere thought of no longer being _Mrs. Derek Shepherd_ made her heart constrict. She still couldn't believe it; he was leaving her, _Derek was leaving her_. She was sent the papers along with a small note that read: _I'm so sorry Addie._ "_I'm so sorry Addie"_; 4 words,_ 4 fucking words_ and he was ending it, _just like that._ No; she deserved more, so much more than just some "_I'm so sorry Addie" _bullshit_. How dare him?_ How could he just, pick up his life and move three thousand miles across the country, and to a trailer no less? He was _Derek_: Armani wearing, New York Times reading, Single Malt Scotch drinking _Derek; _not some flannel wearing, wood chopping fisherman who lived in the trailer. So what possessed her husband to do such a thing was completely baffling to her. However, she learned that this thing that had gotten a hold to her precious Derek, wasn't exactly a thing, but more so a woman. _Meredith Grey. An intern_. Her husband had left her for a _fucking_ intern. The fact that he left her was painful enough, but the fact that he left her for another woman, a much younger woman made the pain hurt even more.

She remembers several months ago when he went to Seattle for a case, per the request of their old mentor, Richard Webber. He was gone for exactly 1 week she recalls, and after that, things began to change in her marriage. Derek would spend more and more time at the hospital, something she attributed to the fact that he was in the running for chief of surgery. Once he started acting completely different, she knew that this was more than just about him wanting to be chief. When he stopped touching her, her worries worsened. When they completely stopped talking and fighting, that was when she lost all hope. She couldn't understand it, comprehend it, what caused her husband to just, suddenly change. Now that she was staring at the divorce papers, she knew what had caused this sudden change, _Meredith fucking Grey._

The divorce was settled fairly quickly, with the pair splitting everything down the middle, stocks, bonds, 401K; however Addison's trust fund remained in her name. Derek insisted that she keep all of the real estate, stating that he wouldn't be coming back to New York and that it would be of no use to him. As she sat there across from him in their lawyer's office(he at least had the decency to show up and finalize things in person), a huge part of her wanted to hurt him, but another part of her was too broken to do or say anything to him. He sat there as their lawyer droned on about everything, occasionally glancing over at his soon to be ex wife, who looked more tired and defeated than anything. It pained him to do this to her but, he was no longer happy, and didn't know how to tell Addison that he wasn't happy anymore without hurting her. Meredith wasn't supposed to happen but, she did; and for Derek, being with Meredith was like, coming up for fresh air. She seemed to breathe the life back into him somehow. However, once he got back to New York, back to Addison, those feelings of happiness and being alive quickly faded. After being with Meredith, Derek couldn't bring himself to face his wife, because she would instantly know that something was wrong.

"Dr. Shepherd, if you'll just sign here" his lawyer said drawing him out of his thoughts

"What? Oh, sorry" he muttered

"Busy thinking about your little intern?" Addison asked bitterly, causing Derek to look up at her in total and complete surprise

"What? You didn't think I'd find out about her? You know Derek" she says with an evil grin

"I think the fact that you cheated entitles me to even more money" Addison said, making Derek completely fearful of what she could possibly do to him.

"Oh, relax, I'm not going to do anything; I'm not vindictive; unlike yourself, I wouldn't purposefully hurt someone" she said before quickly signing the divorce papers

"Addie-"

"If you say 'I'm so sorry', I will throw something at you; do you know how this makes me feel Derek? You're leaving me, me! For another woman, a much younger woman I might add; a surgical intern! I was your wife, for 11 years! You wrote me my own love song and sang it to me at our wedding for God's sake! Doesn't that, don't the last 15 years mean anything to you Derek?"

"They do, and I really am sorry Addison; I am so sorry"

"Go to hell Derek" Addison said dejectedly before standing up and leaving the office.

_xx_

She was officially divorced, back to using 3 names; Addison Forbes Montgomery. She was sure that Carolyn would be thrilled by this news, that she and Derek were no longer married. His sisters however, she was quite sure they would be devastated by this. In the flick of a wrist, her whole family was gone. 15 years of her life felt like they had suddenly been wasted; 15 years of her life that she couldn't get back. As she stood in the elevator, her mind seemed to be running a hundred miles a minute. What was she going to do now? How would she bounce back from this sudden blow? What would people say to her once they found out? What would she do with the brownstone? There was no way in hell she could keep it now.

After taking a week off from work to mourn the loss of her marriage, she was back to her old self again. She quickly sold her house along with the house in The Hamptons, as well as their house in Martha's Vineyard. She sold her car, changed her entire wardrobe and cut her hair. She even got a bit drunk and got a very small tattoo. She only had two options as far as coping mechanisms; one, drink herself into liver failure or two, take the high road and simply move the hell on. Since she enjoyed not having sclerosis of the liver, she opted for taking the high road. As she stood in the middle of her new penthouse suite, Addison Forbes Montgomery could not feel any emptier. Sure, her new house was amazing, perfect even. Sure, men were practically lining up around the corner just to have a chance to go out on a date with the redheaded neonatal surgeon, sure, she had the love and support of her family, including Derek's(even his mother) and friend's, it didn't change the fact that her life, the one she knew from before, was over. As she looked out the window at her perfect view of New York city, a certain song came to mind:

_Addison Montgomery _

_He met her in the summer_

_She was cutting up a very dead body_

_And in her eyes I saw my life_

_I knew that she would be my wife_

_And she would breathe the life back into me_

_For every day until eternity..._

_Or until I'd be as dead as that body._

As the song played over and over in her head on repeat, silent tears began to stream down her face. In the 3 months since her divorce, to everyone around her, she seemed to be doing just fine; however, fine was the farthest thing from the truth. Addison Forbes Montgomery (formerly Shepherd) was more lonely now that she had ever been in her entire life. No new haircut, fabulous wardrobe, perfect penthouse with an amazing view, was going to change that. She wanted Derek; unfortunately, Derek no longer wanted her, and that was a painful, painful reality that she was stuck living with every single day.


End file.
